Yeh, I also wouldn't mind some clarification on the birthday issue.
Is it a DF offence? That would mean that you could be expelled on the basis of having attended one birthday party but were 'unrepentant' of your gross sin.
I should have thought that it was more of a 'marking' issue, where the person is engaged on an dangerous path but does not actually commit a gross sin.
It may seem like splitting hairs, but being marked means that you can still access a support network to a degree, but without the hassle of having to socialise with JWs.
I am not up to date with current non thinking on the issue, so any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.